Rise up a genuine leader Who is driven by moral character and integrity Who commits to truth and responsibility Who models personal discipline and accountability Who earns respect by giving it Who is humble in self-imperfections and gracious in others’ Who nurtures trust and collaboration
Rise up a genuine leader Who is we-oriented, not me-oriented Who articulates vision with clarity and infuses pride in purpose Who disables barriers to people development Who confronts social ills with positive solutions Who seeks understanding and resolutions in contentions Who fosters creativity and inspires hope
Rise up a genuine leader Who can undo chaos and create order Who is composed instead of clamorous Who promotes diversity of viewpoints in unity of purpose Who invests in people and worthy dreams Who is transparent, trustworthy, and teachable Who upholds faith in a better future and spurs actions toward it
Rise up a genuine leader Who values people and ideas over profit Who knows virtue sustains character, but its absence destroys it Who is considerate instead of caustic Who brings competence with candor Who discerns realities with compassion and directs resolutions with care Who influences people to mutually elevate lives, institutions, and ideals.
Rise up a genuine leader Who is attentive to needs of the people and builds their spirit Who overcomes personal ego, arrogance, and unethical behavior Who rejects conflict mongering Who is consistent and persistent in value-added contributions Who equips and empowers other leaders Who builds an enduring legacy of transformational results
Books have brought me into worlds I wouldn’t otherwise know
This past year’s reading has brought me into worlds and cultures I wouldn’t otherwise know. I have visited Nazi Germany (three times), ancient Palestine, Soviet Russia, Revolutionary Russia, Cold War Europe, South Africa, Victorian Australia, Spanish colonization, Antarctica, even those spheres of oppression, depression, gene editing, scientific research, cosmology, and quantum physics.
These books have taught me more about myself and those around me. I have reveled in the wonders of my own body, and have gained insights into wellness, happiness, and better working and personal relationships.
These books have ignited my imagination through creative storytelling. I’ve entered several classic tales for the first time, and have revisited some inspiring old favorites.
These books have expanded my knowledge in a great many subjects: natural, geologic, and cultural history; economics, public policy, activism; exploitation, greed, commerce, philanthropy; psychology, volunteer organizing, and leadership in philosophical differences and changing cultures. And so much more!
My favorites and recommendations are noted with an asterisk. But here are my special mentions:
Most satisfying ending: Angel of Vengeance
Most surprising over what I thought I knew about it: Tarzan of the Apes
Most over my head: The Physics of Immortality
Most annoying: HHhH (author reports true things, then confesses he made them up)
Most wide-ranging scope: Saving the Redwoods
Most spiritually revealing: New Morning Mercies
Most enjoyable biography/memoir: Sunday Nights at Seven: The Jack Benny Story
* Destined to Witness: Growing Up Black in Nazi Germany, Hans J. Massaquoi
The Handbook for Health: 5 Essential Pillars for Optimized Wellness, Dr. Christopher Turnpaugh with Dr. Cynthia West
The 6 Types of Working Genius: a Better Way to Understand Your Frustrations and Your Team, Patrick Lencioni
* The Body: a Guide for Occupants, Bill Bryson
* Only One Year: How Joseph Stalin’s Daughter Broke Through the Iron Curtain, Svetlana Alliluyeva
The Millionaires, Brad Meltzner
Name All the Animals: a Memoir, Alison Smith
* The Blue Zones of Happiness: Lessons from the World’s Happiest People, Dan Buettner
* The Code Breaker: Jennifer Doudna, Gene Editing and the Future of the Human Race, Walter Isaacson
* From the Earth to the Moon, Jules Vern
A Sand County Almanac and Sketches Here and There, Aldo Leopold
* Inkheart, Cornelia Funke
* Inkspell, Cornelia Funke
* Inkdeath, Cornelia Funke
* The Noticer, Andy Andrews
HHhH “Himmler’s brain is called Heydrich”, Laurent Binet
Bethlehem, Karen Kelly
Homecoming, Kate Morton
The Trail, Robert Whitlow
Cry, the Beloved Country, Alan Paton
* The Last Days of Night, Graham Moore
* Still Life With Crows, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
* Shackleton’s Stowaway, Victoria McKernan
The Magician’s Nephew, C.S. Lewis
White Fire, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Three Sisters, Heather Morris
* Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbitt
Murder in the Lincoln Bedroom, Elliot Roosevelt
* The Scorpion’s Tail, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing and Multiplying Leaders, John C. Maxwell
Mayday, Nelson DeMille and Thomas Block
* The Oath, Frank Peretti
Community Recreation and Parks Handbook, Sue Landes
Financing Municipal Recreation and Parks, Sue Landes
Absolute Friends, John le Carré
* The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland, Jim DeFede
Humorous Stories and Sketches, Mark Twain
Murders on Alcatraz, George DeVincenzi
* Palisades Park, Alan Brennert
Skin: Revenge is Beautiful, Ted Dekker
* A Gentleman in Moscow, Amor Towles
* Tarzan of the Apes, Edgar Rice Burroughes
Just Tell Them I Love Them: a Hospice Chaplain’s Invitation to Live Well, Helen Burke
* Take This Cup, Bodie and Brock Thoene
The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up to Speed Faster and Smarter, Michael D. Watkins
* Saving the Redwoods: The Movement to Rescue a Wonder of the Natural World, Joseph H. Engbeck, Jr.
* Eternal, Lisa Scottoline
* Sunday Nights at Seven: The Jack Benny Story by Jack Benny and his daughter Joan
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, Barbara Roobinson
* Healing Stones, Nancy Rue and Stephen Arterburn
* Angel of Vengeance, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
The Physics of Immortality: Modern Cosmology, God and the Resurrection of the Dead, Frank J. Tippler
* New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional, Paul David Tripp
Helping train our emerging leaders is always rewarding – both now and in the future! Day 2 of the intensive Pennsylvania Recreation and Park Society’s Leadership Academy included sessions on successful communications and creating collaborative relationships with key stakeholders, a working lunch, but also a few moments for a Class of 2024 selfie!
Celebrated all across the country today is Park and Recreation Professionals Day—an annual, deserving recognition of those who work to keep our public spaces clean, safe and ready to use.
These dedicated professionals preserve, maintain and improve our natural and cultural assets that support local economies, healthful and active lifestyles, and vibrant and resilient communities. They and their diverse public services are truly indispensable!
And it pleases me immensely that the Day’s special purpose, which I conceived while walking on a neighborhood trail six years ago, has since been so embraced by people nationwide, who recognize and celebrate what these local heroes bring to their own communities.
Earlier this week I attended the Centre County Commissioners to receive their Proclamation of the day. Today I was privileged to present at a “Spotlight Celebration” highlighting Butler County’s exemplary park and recreation staff, programs and facilities.
I join with Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro in encouraging all “to learn about the remarkable work of park and recreation professionals… and support their efforts by exploring our beautiful local, state and national parks.”
The Council of State Executive Directors met this week in Park City, Utah. The annual gathering focuses on trends and best practices of association management, and mutual issues in the recreation and park profession.
But we are more than just colleagues. We are a gregarious, fun, engaging (and exhausting!) bunch who continually and passionately invests in each other. This is my greatest gang of professional associates and personal friends – my collective, got-your-back brain trust. I appreciate and love them all.
In the 2024 Iowa caucuses, Donald Trump urged supporters to go vote for him despite a life-threatening cold snap. “You can’t sit home,” he demanded. “Even if you vote and then pass away, it’s worth it.” (reported in The Week, Jan. 26, 2024)
Jerks have a way of making everything about them, without a care for others.
Trouble is, jerks have infested nearly every area of life. Not only do they harm people, they are often contagious, influencing imitators of their poor behaviors. See above.
But to those who are aware that behaviors have consequences, jerks can be great role models—for how NOT to act.
This short list comes from my personal experiences. My purpose in identifying some of the noxious results is to hopefully arrest the actions of potential jerks before they permanently damage other people.
Belittler. He was the VP at Orkin Exterminating, where I worked as a termite inspector salesman, who occasionally attended our daily 7:30 AM sales meetings to “motivate” our salesmanship. “If your customer doesn’t want to buy,” he declared in all seriousness, “you just bring on the tears.” Another time, he publicly belittled our top salesman in front of everyone, to show (I suppose) who was the real Top Dog. Of course, that motivated our guy to move on to other opportunities. After more than 40 years, what I remember most about Mr. VP is his stupidly uncaring arrogance.
• Be a builder of people instead of a demolisher.
Deceiver. When I worked at Kiawah Island Resort, I directed and sang with a small group of interns who performed every Saturday night at the Pig & Oyster Roast. My boss had hired them based on whether they said they could sing. (I was lucky: they could!) But he continually misled them on their working expectations. They, in turned complained to me. I eventually confronted him about his lying, and he broke down and bawled in front of me. I was just 22 years old myself, and didn’t know how to respond to that. What I remember most is his excessive self-boasting to (apparently) cover up his insecurities.
Micromanager. I became one of the first Recycling Coordinators in Pennsylvania when the state law requiring it went into effect, working for the City of Bethlehem. I reported to the head of the City Health Department. Two memorable quotes from his mouth: “Listen, I know more about this than you!” as he berated a citizen over the phone who had questioned him. And in a particularly revealing moment with me, he confided: “I should have been a cop because I like telling people what to do.” To this day, he has been my prime example of the interfering and ineffective micromanager.
• Hire good people, give good guidance, and let them make good for you.
Yeller. I once took up an offer of no rent from a farmer in exchange for feeding his pigs everyday (upwards of 200) and mucking out the stalls on Saturdays. It didn’t take long to discover his unpredictable temper that could explode at any moment. I got screamed at several times a week, mainly for infractions he seemed to make up on the spot. (He reminded me of the temperamental character of Quint in the movie Jaws.) He never apologized, and then carried on as if nothing at all happened. I remember him as a pitiable, angry man who preferred ignorance.
• Get the best of your temper before it brings out the worst in you.
Bully. I sold my business to a nonprofit group that was to pay me over a period of years, but unfortunately didn’t understand the work involved to make it successful. The Board promptly ran it into the ground in 18 months, and then sued me to get out of the agreement. Bullying can be verbal, physical, social, cyber or legal, as in my case; they stiffed me on 90 percent of our agreed sale price. I could have countersued, but the assets no longer existed. I donated the remains of the business in exchange for them dropping the suit. (See Matt. 5:40 for my legal guidance.)
• If you habitually force others to get your way, or to feel better about yourself, seek interventional help.
Such classic jerk behaviors come in many forms. But perhaps the most insidious are those that arise unchecked from within. How many of us have ever been unintentionally rude, sharp, or disrespectful? Disparaging, resentful, or unforgiving? Pushy, flippant, or ungracious? I know I have at times. The jerk resistance movement must start within me.
MasterPoint:Deny the jerk within to prevent its contagion abroad.
Last year, I participated in a provoking thought exercise with my counterparts from other states. We attempted to develop an alternate term for “recreation and parks.”
Schuylkill River Trail. credit: Visit Philadelphia
Because recreation and parks means something different to practically every person, and carries unwanted baggage of being regarded as trivial, even laughable, and less worthy than more “important” things, we wanted to explore what single term could encompass all its comprehensive benefits.
Eleanor Warmack, CEO of the Florida Recreation and Park Association, declares, “If our industry was a corporation, we would have rebranded ourselves 20 times by now. This profession has evolved—we cannot keep using terminology from 100 years ago to limit what the public thinks of our value, nor to allow our profession to be defined by three words.”
In the book The Blue Zones of Happiness, author Dan Buettner cites research from 141 countries to distill what contributes most to life satisfaction all over the world, and offers practical lessons to making happiness a personal lifestyle.
It’s fairly easy to be happy in any particular moment, of course. The challenge is to sustain an ongoing pursuit of what he calls the three P’s—purpose, pleasure, and pride—the universal keys to life fulfillment, regardless of culture or personality. And while personal discipline can go only so far, Buettner advocates “for strategies that make changes to our surroundings…that constantly nudge us into doing the right things so we don’t have to remember them on our own.”
Our governments, communities, and workplaces; our social networks, homes, and finances; and even our inner lives can be “happier by design,” he asserts. Each of his designing blueprints for happiness enumerates specific action steps for advancing our personal and collective purpose, pleasure, and pride.
In the book’s foreword, Ed Diener summarizes, “We now know that happiness is an essential part of functioning well, and that it gives a boost in well-being not only to individuals, but also to those around them, their communities, and their societies. Rather than being a luxury to be pursued only after we take care of the more important things in life, happiness is beneficial to everything else we desire: It aids our health and helps us live longer; it aids our social functioning and makes us better citizens; it helps us perform better at work; and it builds up our resilience, which enables us to bounce back after setbacks or when bad events occur in our lives. The happier we are, the better we are for our friends and family, our workplaces, our communities, and our society as a whole.”
Doesn’t this passage sound like what we strive for in providing recreation and park services?
Now back to the rebranding term for recreation and parks.
Our creative thought exercise was tough. We identified what we wanted the new phrase to embody. We noted that some park and recreation agencies are transitioning to alternate terms, like the Community Enrichment Department in St. Petersburg, Florida. We tried out new phrases. We even enlisted ChatGPT to invent a new word, which came up with such disastrous results as “recrarks,” “culturisure,” “leisureplex,” and “communivital.” Our discussion was quite stimulating, but so far, we’ve failed to invent anything that conveys so much so concisely.
But—doesn’t the above description of happiness come so very close? There might be a case for it. After all, its pursuit is singled out as an important tenet in one of our nation’s founding documents. And as everyone knows, it’s one of the inalienable rights of “We the People!”
What do you think? All comments and suggestions are welcome!
Our son, who has autism spectrum disorder (ASD), was often an inadvertent contributor to his problems by his lack of social savvy—but not always. Bullies can rise up anywhere and everywhere. And at any age. (Apparently, bullies never grow up.) They may even take the more insidious and impersonal form of institutional and systemic bias.
Children with physical, developmental, intellectual, emotional, and sensory disabilities often seem to have a prominent “Kick Me” sign on their backs, a seemingly irresistible target for the bullying mindset. Try as our son might to blend in or stay unnoticed, his “marching to a different drummer” routine attracted attention—especially from those kids who judged him ripe for their mocking, harassing, teasing, taunting, badgering, and bullying.
Often, bullies’ exploitive route is through their victims’ lack of peer support. Having friends can prevent and protect against bullying. But children with special needs often fail to make friends, and may have difficulty getting around, trouble communicating and navigating social interactions, or display signs of vulnerability and emotional distress. All of these challenges mark them as “different,” and increase their risk of aggression from bullies.
Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s introduces the concepts required to continue organizational change. And to all parents and caregivers of children with ASD, this true tale offers pragmatic guidance, self-help encouragement, and real reason for hope. tinyurl.com/4c6bxw4s
Supportive relationships bring vitality to reality. We are very grateful to our friends and family who have stood by us during some of our most challenging times. This year, we were able to publish our story of raising our youngest son on a high functioning sliver of the autism spectrum. As the first student in the school district diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, he became the blunt instrument of change it required but didn’t know it needed.
Each phase of life can be a stepping stone to progress. From the distinct advantage of countless wayfinding steps more than 20 years in the making, we’re now able to tell the tale of our passage. But at the time, we hadn’t a clue to the route, or the fuss we would create.
Words of faith determine the journey’s end before I arrive. In October this year, we celebrated our 45th anniversary. We couldn’t have imagined most of what our lives have become, but we know Who holds our future, and that faith has both carried us through and worked out all things for our good.
Intentional steps bring opportunities that alter destinies. In February, Philip obtained a position as a Research Engineer, after the persevering quest of 7 years and 840 job applications. We helped move him to Webster, NY and unload the truck during a winter squall off Lake Ontario with -10° windchill and near-whiteout conditions!
A strong sense of purpose overrides the pain of fulfilling it. The bold statements in this post come from several of the chapter openings in Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s. In it, we share how we hadn’t planned to be pioneers in an arduous journey—but that’s where we have found love, courage, hope, faith, learning, humor, growth, failure, trial, and triumph—everything that rounds out a life well-lived.
Only by overcoming challenges to my progress do I advance toward it. Stepping Stones is a trail guide of hope for all the parents and caregivers of children who: appear to have advantages, but somehow do not; want to be happy and fit in, but largely cannot; yearn to be treated respectfully, but usually are not.
I affirm the worth of my potential and progress toward a favorable future. Despite advances in diagnoses, therapies and other accommodations, many systemic inequities against the neurodivergent remain to be dismantled. This book introduces the concepts required to continue organizational change. And to all parents and caregivers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, this true tale offers pragmatic guidance, self-help encouragement, and real reason for hope.
Ignorance imprisons the mind, but learning liberates the spirit. Philip wrote the last chapter of the book, recounting the life lessons he learned in grad school and in securing a full-time job. He also created the back cover artwork and others in the book. Produced by solving and plotting the results of hundreds of millions of polynomial equations, and then stacked and colorized, he’s named this type of mathematical art “polyplots.”
Sit in peace. Stand on principle. Soar with purpose. Stepping Stones is available in print or ebook through our website timandcarolherd.com, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and other booksellers.
We believe in the message our little memoir contains, and we’re trying to reach as many people as possible. We are available for speaking to groups and for book signings. If you are an active Amazon customer, you can post a review, regardless of where you have purchased the book.
We offer this story of our experience to the great range of parents, caregivers, therapists, and support networks—as well as those who are on the autism spectrum themselves—as our like-missioned, kindred spirits. And we thank you for your support.
