This complex image was generated by a young man with autism spectrum disorder. He used a computer program he wrote that solved for the roots of millions of polynomial equations, plotted them on a complex plane, then stacked and colorized them by density on a logarithmic scale. Is that something you can do?
Not many of us, anyway. People who are neurodivergent think differently than we neurotypicals. As a result, they benefit from such unique perspectives that they can often come up with new and creative ways to solve problems. What appears to be a weakness in the way they learn—especially during school age, where teaching methods, textbooks, and testing systems simply do not meet their needs—is actually a unique strength, given the time and freedom to develop.
The creator of this image, and of many others of widely varied design, is our son, who had an awful time in school, but who is now a Research Engineer. Learn more about his story in the book he co-wrote, found at tinyurl.com/4c6bxw4s. To see more of his copyrighted “polyplot” designs, see tinyurl.com/plyplt.
One rainy day I glimpsed a rainbow in my rearview mirror. And while I don’t recommend taking your eyes off your destination for long, a quick review of where you’ve been in such circumstances can be an encouraging reminder of three fabulous truths.
A rainbow in your rearview means:
• the storm and its difficulties are behind you. You have survived it. Be grateful, and leave those troubles in the past.
• you are facing the sun and its clearing skies. You are entering a change in your state of affairs. Be grateful, and embrace the future.
• there are still beautiful wonders in this beleaguered, woeful world. Be grateful, and enjoy the present.
The mental ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space, and to imagine them from different perspectives, is a sign of spatial intelligence. This mode of thinking helps explain how our son could never get lost, even in wilderness; and, seemingly without effort, offer up fresh perspectives and solutions on vexing problems. One of his work-related computer programs developed a concise and elegant solution to what had previously been a complex geometrical quandary.
A very practical application of this visualization gift showed up when he was just eight years old. At a family reunion picnic, he most-closely guessed the number of Hershey’s Kisses® in two different sized jars, and won them both!
Our book, Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’stinyurl.com/4c6bxw4s recounts our son’s troubles and triumphs at home, school, and work, and how he has learned to cope and overcome. Find out how the journey is everything.
Our son, who has autism spectrum disorder (ASD), was often an inadvertent contributor to his problems by his lack of social savvy—but not always. Bullies can rise up anywhere and everywhere. And at any age. (Apparently, bullies never grow up.) They may even take the more insidious and impersonal form of institutional and systemic bias.
Children with physical, developmental, intellectual, emotional, and sensory disabilities often seem to have a prominent “Kick Me” sign on their backs, a seemingly irresistible target for the bullying mindset. Try as our son might to blend in or stay unnoticed, his “marching to a different drummer” routine attracted attention—especially from those kids who judged him ripe for their mocking, harassing, teasing, taunting, badgering, and bullying.
Often, bullies’ exploitive route is through their victims’ lack of peer support. Having friends can prevent and protect against bullying. But children with special needs often fail to make friends, and may have difficulty getting around, trouble communicating and navigating social interactions, or display signs of vulnerability and emotional distress. All of these challenges mark them as “different,” and increase their risk of aggression from bullies.
Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s introduces the concepts required to continue organizational change. And to all parents and caregivers of children with ASD, this true tale offers pragmatic guidance, self-help encouragement, and real reason for hope. tinyurl.com/4c6bxw4s
“One of the exceptional gifts of Asperger’s Syndrome is the ability to perceive an issue from a unique perspective, which can lead to fresh or surprising solutions.” – from Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s.
Despite some very rough times growing up, when our son’s autism spectrum disorder (ASD) hindered his social development, that same gift later enabled his success as a research engineer with a Master’s in physics.
Stepping Stones is the story of the paths we carved while raising a child on the high functioning sliver of the autism spectrum. We offer it as a trail guide of hope for all parents and caregivers of children with ASD.
We are offering a free ebook copy (pdf or epub) to all who leave a message of “book” with an email address. (See contact page.) All we ask is that you provide an honest review on Amazon when finished reading it. We wish all the best in their daily challenges!
The image shown comes from the book’s back cover. It was created by our son by plotting the solutions of millions of polynomial equations on the complex plane, and stacking and colorizing the result.
The most impactful book to me in 2023 was one I wrote with my wife Carol and our youngest son. Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventures with Asperger’s is our growth journey from accepting “that’s just Philip,” to obtaining a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, to learning how to cope and still succeed. From the distinct advantage of countless wayfinding steps more than 20 years in the making, we offer pragmatic guidance, self-help encouragement, and real reason for hope to all parents and caregivers of children with autism spectrum disorder. tinyurl.com/4c6bxw4s
I try to read widely, for both intellectual development and entertainment. Not all my choices pertain directly to my work, or even my personal interests. Restricted Data: The History of Nuclear Secrecy in the United States, recommended to me by my physicist son, wasn’t one I’d have chosen on my own, but it did augment what I learned from the Oppenheimer film this year. Even fiction, when it represents a divergent point of view, can add to my useful stores of knowledge. Ilana’s Love, a book by my friend (which, despite the inference from its title is not a romance novel—a genre I usually do ignore!), furnished a thought-provoking perspective on relationships.
I re-read all 4,100 pages of the 7-volume Harry Potter series, (the first published 26 years ago!) enjoying many details and nuances not found in the films. J.K. Rowling is a master of originality, dialog, character development, and plot complexities.
Is it just me, or are subtitles are getting longer all the time? But then there’s John Grisham, whose obviously successful title formula is: “The __.” Nonetheless, the subtitles do help me better remember the content afterward.
The complete list of those I’ve read last year follows, but here are my personal citations for those I’ve found most captivating, memorable, or practical in the following categories:
Work-related:Herding Tigers: Be the Leader That Creative People Need Biography:Leonardo da Vinci History: The Klondike Fever: The Life and Death of the Last Great Gold Rush Science:An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us Nonfiction: Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home Business:Ice Cream Social: The Struggle for the Soul of Ben & Jerry’s Spiritual:Experiencing God Day by Day Fiction: What Rose Forgot, and The Man Who Died Twice
Vanishing Grace: What Ever Happened to the Good News?, Philip Yancy
Storytizing: What’s Next After Advertising? Bob Pearson
The Klondike Fever: The Life and Death of the Last Great Gold Rush, Pierre Berton
The Freedom of Self-Forgiveness: The Path to True Christian Joy, Timothy Keller
A Wild Idea: How the Environmental Movement Tamed the Adirondacks, Brad Edmundson
Black Ice, Brad Thor
The Case For Easter: A Journalist Investigates the Evidence for the Resurrection, Lee Strobel
The Cabinet of Dr. Leng, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Seeing Red, Sandra Brown
Jerks at Work: How to Deal with People Problems and Problem People, Ken Lloyd
Born a Yankee, Grace Carstens
Missing Witness, Gordon Campbell
Ilana’s Love, Laurel West
Relic, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors, Piers Paul Read
Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home, Nando Parrado with Vince Rause
The Book of Lies, Brad Meltzner
The Measure of All Things: The Seven-Year Odyssey and Hidden Error That Transformed the World, Ken Alder
Sea of Tranquility, Emily St. John Mandel
Reliquary, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
What Rose Forgot, Nevada Barr
Ice Cream Social: The Struggle for the Soul of Ben & Jerry’s, Brad Edmundson
The Book of Fate, Brad Meltzner
Once Upon a Wardrobe, Patti Callahan
Becoming Mrs. Lewis, Patti Callahan
What’s Wrong With Me? A Journal of Emotional Healing in a Broken World, Royce Alan Alford
Leonardo da Vinci, Wallter Isaacson
Stepping Stones: Our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s, Tim and Carol Herd with Philip Herd
An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us, Ed Yong
The Outermost House: A Year of Life on the Great Beach of Cape Cod, Henry Beston
13½, Nevada Barr
Love Me, Garrison Keillor
Restricted Data: The History of Nuclear Secrecy in the United States, Alex Wellerstein
Address Unknown, Katherine Kressman Taylor
Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore, Robin Sloan
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, John Mark Comer
The Judge’s List, John Grisham
The Troop, Nick Cutter
The Whistler, John Grisham
The Reckoning, John Grisham
What Was Rescued, Jane Bailey
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling
Molly’s Pilgrim, Barba Cohen
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling
The Bullet That Missed, Richard Osman
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling
Getting Through the Tough Stuff: It’s Always Something, Charles Swindoll
Herding Tigers: Be the Leader That Creative People Need, Todd Henry
The Man Who Died Twice, Richard Osman
Experiencing God Day by Day, Henry Blackaby and Richard Blackaby
Supportive relationships bring vitality to reality. We are very grateful to our friends and family who have stood by us during some of our most challenging times. This year, we were able to publish our story of raising our youngest son on a high functioning sliver of the autism spectrum. As the first student in the school district diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, he became the blunt instrument of change it required but didn’t know it needed.
Each phase of life can be a stepping stone to progress. From the distinct advantage of countless wayfinding steps more than 20 years in the making, we’re now able to tell the tale of our passage. But at the time, we hadn’t a clue to the route, or the fuss we would create.
Words of faith determine the journey’s end before I arrive. In October this year, we celebrated our 45th anniversary. We couldn’t have imagined most of what our lives have become, but we know Who holds our future, and that faith has both carried us through and worked out all things for our good.
Intentional steps bring opportunities that alter destinies. In February, Philip obtained a position as a Research Engineer, after the persevering quest of 7 years and 840 job applications. We helped move him to Webster, NY and unload the truck during a winter squall off Lake Ontario with -10° windchill and near-whiteout conditions!
A strong sense of purpose overrides the pain of fulfilling it. The bold statements in this post come from several of the chapter openings in Stepping Stones: our pathfinding adventure with Asperger’s. In it, we share how we hadn’t planned to be pioneers in an arduous journey—but that’s where we have found love, courage, hope, faith, learning, humor, growth, failure, trial, and triumph—everything that rounds out a life well-lived.
Only by overcoming challenges to my progress do I advance toward it. Stepping Stones is a trail guide of hope for all the parents and caregivers of children who: appear to have advantages, but somehow do not; want to be happy and fit in, but largely cannot; yearn to be treated respectfully, but usually are not.
I affirm the worth of my potential and progress toward a favorable future. Despite advances in diagnoses, therapies and other accommodations, many systemic inequities against the neurodivergent remain to be dismantled. This book introduces the concepts required to continue organizational change. And to all parents and caregivers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, this true tale offers pragmatic guidance, self-help encouragement, and real reason for hope.
Ignorance imprisons the mind, but learning liberates the spirit. Philip wrote the last chapter of the book, recounting the life lessons he learned in grad school and in securing a full-time job. He also created the back cover artwork and others in the book. Produced by solving and plotting the results of hundreds of millions of polynomial equations, and then stacked and colorized, he’s named this type of mathematical art “polyplots.”
Sit in peace. Stand on principle. Soar with purpose. Stepping Stones is available in print or ebook through our website timandcarolherd.com, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and other booksellers.
We believe in the message our little memoir contains, and we’re trying to reach as many people as possible. We are available for speaking to groups and for book signings. If you are an active Amazon customer, you can post a review, regardless of where you have purchased the book.
We offer this story of our experience to the great range of parents, caregivers, therapists, and support networks—as well as those who are on the autism spectrum themselves—as our like-missioned, kindred spirits. And we thank you for your support.
I have a standing personal rule: Always Bring a Book!
Whenever I break it, I’m inevitably sorry.
Books are important to me: in them I find distilled wisdom, practical instruction, and engrossing entertainment. They customize my intellectual, psychological, and spiritual development; they build my technical and relational capabilities; they expand my leadership and service; they refresh my mind and spirit.
In 2022, my wife, son and I wrote a book about the challenges, lessons and adventures in raising our youngest son with Asperger’s Syndrome, which will be published this coming year.
I try to read widely. Not all my choices pertain directly to my job, or my personal interests. Invisible Women opened my eyes and mind to systemic male-based data bias. Even fiction, when it represents a divergent point of view, can add to my useful stores of knowledge. Case in point for this year: The Personal Librarian, based on the true story of a black woman passing as a white woman in the employ of J.P. Morgan in the early 1900s.
The complete list follows, but here are my personal citations for those I’ve found most captivating, memorable, or practical in the following categories:
Work-related:CEO Excellence; Critical Thinking; Extreme Ownership Biography: Frederick Douglass; An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth History: The First Conspiracy: The Plot to Kill George Washington Iconic/Classic:Travels with Charley in Search of America Fiction:Where the Crawdads Sing; West With Giraffes; The Personal Librarian Science:Humble Pi; Brilliant Maps for Curious Minds Societal:Invisible Women; Untrustworthy Thriller:Boar Island Humor:The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach Spiritual: The Hole in Our Gospel by personal friends:Super Powers and Secrets; Crushed and Marred; Stand; People Connectors
Creativity, Inc: Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration, Ed Catmull
Humble Pi: When Math Goes Wrong in the Real World, Matt Parker
Super Powers and Secrets: A Year of Holidays, H. Kaeppel
Crushed and Marred: A Year of Milestones, H. Kaepple
Stand: A Year of Firsts, H. Kaeppel
The Itty Bitty Book of Nonprofit Fundraising, Jayme Dingler
The Insanity of God: A True Story of Faith Resurrected, Nik Ripken
Golden Girl, Elin Hilderbrand
Flashback, Nevada Barr
Trees & Forests of America, Tim Palmer
Frederick Douglass: Prophet of Freedom, David W. Blight
Sold on a Monday, Kristina McMorris
The Hole in Our Gospel, Richard Stearns
Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! Adventures of a Curious Character, Richard P. Feynman
The Gift of Asperger’s: One Family’s Persevering Adventure of Hope, Humor, Insight and Inspiration, Tim Herd, Carol Herd, and Philip Herd
A Time for Mercy, John Grisham
Historic Acadia National Park: The Stories Behind One of America’s Great Treasures, Catherine Schmidt
Brilliant Maps for Curious Minds: 100 New Ways to See the World, Ian Wright
Girl Behind the Red Rope, Ted Dekker and Rachelle Dekker
Tesla: Inventor of the Electrical Age, W. Bernard Carlson
The Escape Artist, Brad Melzner
People Connectors: Elevating Communication for Educators, Terry Sumerlin
The First Conspiracy: The Secret Plot to Kill George Washington, Brad Meltzner and Josh Mensch
We Seven, by the Astronauts Themselves, Carpenter, Cooper, Glenn, Grissom, Schirra, Shepard, Slayton
What Happened to the Bennetts, Lisa Scottoline
The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach, Professor Peter Schickele
Wait, What? And Life’s Other Essential Questions, James Ryan
High Country, Nevada Barr
Hard Truth, Nevada Barr
Eight Days in May: The Final Collapse of the Third Reich, Volker Ullrich
Endangered Species, Nevada Barr
An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth: What Going to Space Taught Me About Ingenuity, Determination, and Being Prepared for Everything, Col. Chris Hadfield
Blind Descent, Nevada Barr
Immanuel’s Veins, Ted Dekker
Thinking Like Your Editor: How to Write Great Serious Nonfiction – and Get it Published, Susan Rabiner and Alfred Fortunato
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, Caroline Criado Perez
The Lost Key, Catherine Coulter and J.T. Ellison
Burn, Ted Dekker and Erin Healy
The Whole Town’s Talking, Fannie Flagg
Acadia National Park, Bob Thayer
Where the Crawdads Sing, Delia Owens
CEO Excellence: The Six Mindsets That Distinguish the Best Leaders From the Rest, Carolyn Dewar, Scott Keller, and Vikram Malhotra
Burn, Nevada Barr
The Murder of King Tut, James Patterson and Martin Dugard
Thinking in Pictures: My Life With Autism, Temple Grandin
Calling All Minds: How to Think and Create Like and Inventor, Temple Grandin
The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, John Ortberg
Boar Island, Nevada Barr
Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard Paul and Linda Elder
The Rope, Nevada Barr
A Man Called Ova, Fredrik Backman
The Personal Librarian, Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray
Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALS Lead and Win, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
Untrustworthy: The Knowledge Crisis Breaking Our Brains, Polluting Our Politics, and Corrupting Christian Community, Bonnie Kristian
Send: Living a Life That Invites Others to Jesus, Heather Holleman and Ashley Holleman
West With Giraffes, Lynda Rutledge
Dr. Rick Will See You Now: A Guide to Unbecoming Your Parents, Dr. Rick
Travels With Charley in Search of America, John Steinbeck
simple steps to introduce children with ASD to nature
Whether it’s simply walking in a park, gardening, biking, kayaking, wildlife watching or even just sitting with a view of greens pace, nature is good for what ails us.
Our physical, mental and emotional health is surprisingly co-dependent on interactions with our natural environment. Regular exposure delivers restorative benefits; a lack of it brings detrimental consequences.
interaction with a family pet can be an easy at-home therapy
In his book, Last Child in the Woods, author Richard Louv describes the effects of what he called “nature-deficit disorder”: a distressing bundle of physical and emotional afflictions from the lack of personal interaction with nature — like low self-esteem, social anxieties, obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
And he’s not a lone prophet crying in the wilderness: a growing body of worldwide research backs him up.
Such studies have shown that time spent in nature can raise our morale, sociability and mental clarity. It can reduce the effects of stress, anxiety, attention deficit disorder behaviors and more.
For children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), research shows that engagement with nature provides sensory motor skill, emotional and social benefits. However, related issues — like sensory challenges, phobias, inappropriate behaviors and safety concerns — may make the adventure a bit harder than just your average walk in the park. Of course, each child’s strengths and needs vary, but psychologists say nature exposure can be an effective intervention strategy.
Beyond its calming attributes for children with ASD, nature also can be an exciting place to focus their exceptional powers of observation. The same single-mindedness that can master a narrow, arcane topic may also find fascination in the feel of a breeze, the ripples in a puddle, the rhythm of a katydid, the colors in a rainbow, the fragrance of a rose, or the textures and patterns in a pinecone.
Interacting with animals is another encouraging ASD-nature connection. Equine therapy uses horses and trained instructors to help the children calm, focus, think, talk, behave and learn. Family pets can be a ready-at-any-time, home-based therapy. Studies have shown that children with autism who had a pet from a young age tended to have greater social skills. Other research verifies how social behaviors in children with ASD temporarily improve after even a short play period with a live animal, such as a guinea pig (versus a toy).
My family experience with my youngest son, who has Asperger’s Syndrome, bears this all out. From the time he was 5 years old, we lived in the country, with nature literally out the door, and he often played and explored outside contentedly for long stretches. (We did have a neighbor through the woods who sometimes blasted his radio as far as our yard, which greatly upset our son in his quiet communing with nature. We had to go ask him to turn it down, which he graciously did.) For a time, we had a knuckleheaded dog, named Toby, which our young son loved and treated very well, as he did a series of multicolored cats. One year, he incubated bobwhite quail eggs and raised the chicks until they matured, and we released them into our back field. Another year, he raised chickens until the roosters crowed at 4 a.m. In all his animal interactions, he brought enthusiasm and a pleasant demeanor to his interest and grew in his responsibilities for caring for them.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry adds that caring for a pet can help children develop nonverbal communication, compassion, empathy and trusting relationships. Along with their connection to nature, pets also can bring comfort contact for unmet physical and emotional needs.
Here are some simple, starting steps to introduce children with ASD to nature:
Allow them to enjoy unstructured play in a natural area in their own way. Do not feel you must direct them; self-directed nature play builds creativity and problem solving. Let them stare at a leaf, if that’s what they like. Getting dirty is fine.
Your natural area need not be a park or preserve set aside for such purposes. It can be a flower bed, a backyard tree or even some sticks and leaves. Start from where you and your child are both comfortable, and plan for incremental steps.
Look for different kinds of wildlife or plants, even if it is through a window. Set up a birdfeeder or watch for squirrels. Let them count the number of butterflies, or how many different kinds of weeds they can find growing in the crack of the sidewalk. Nature is all around, even in urban areas, there to be noticed.
Add small excursions as comfort and interest grows. Go on a nature scavenger hunt. Plan a trip to pick apples, strawberries or pumpkins. Try to identify constellations in the nighttime sky. Go out in a rainstorm. Make bark rubbings of trees. Order a chrysalis and watch the butterfly emerge. Create a windowsill garden. Plant a tree. Build a snowman. Erect a small hut as a safe outdoor shelter as a play retreat, where they can simply sit and be silent if they want. Collect differently colored leaves, etc.
Simple interactions with nature can bring both immediate and long-range therapeutic benefits for children with ASD. All they need is someone to introduce them in ways they can appreciate; nature provides the rest.
