Does your private life truly impact your public life?

The strength of my character determines the vitality of my leadership.

It’s frequently denied, but more commonly ignored. We swear we don’t want to know what public leaders do privately—it’s their own business. (Yet the media claims it’s merely scooping up the private dirt the insatiable public appetite demands!)

Perhaps. But we need look no further than the morning’s headlines to document the direct correlation between countless individuals’ private and public behaviors. While it may be covered up for a time by bluster, talent, charisma or other gifts, we can all recall more than a few public failures, or “mistakes” admitted to in which private actions became public scandals.

When a leader’s intentions and behaviors clash, look to character to discover why.

Lance Armstrong, Gary Hart, Anthony Weiner, Jim Baker, Richard Nixon, Brian Williams, Rob Ford, Bernie Madoff, Martha Stewart, Mel Gibson: they’re just a fraction of the more infamous fallouts. Such a list of Exhibit A’s demonstrate the problem is not confined to particular professions, industries, ages or genders.

Here are five characteristics that make character the pivotal point of everyone’s persona:

Character is a foundational morality product.
Morality is universally and primarily a social issue, not a religious one. Conforming to the rules of virtuous conduct is good for everyone: virtues are universal and absolute standards that do not change with circumstances, time or point of view.

When virtues are practiced, they always support personal and collective well-being. When rejected by a person, team or community, their foundations corrode and crumble.

Virtue sustains character, but its absence destroys it.

Character is more than talk.
In my career, I’ve personally hired more than 300 individuals. As a usual part of my interview process, I ask the candidate to briefly tell me how each character trait I mention applies to them, and I take notes. Regrettably, there’ve been too many times I’ve had to go back to those very quotes to remind employees that their actions have contradicted their testimony.

Nobody ever admits that integrity isn’t important, but our outward actions are the real indicator of internal character, no matter what we say.

We cannot separate character from actions.

Character is a choice.
We can’t control the circumstances of our birth, nor little else of the world around us, but we can determine our character. We do it with each choice we make. How we respond and react to life builds it or destroys it a decision at a time. Challenges don’t create character, but they do reveal it as we choose capitulation, compromise or conquest.

What others see of us is mere veneer. No matter how attractive or polished it may be with expertise, charisma or talent, it’s still just thin skin that occasionally gets torn open. The quality of the character inside then spills out for all to see.

Ability may be a gift, but character is a choice.

Character builds up.
True leadership is built only as relationships are. As character is proven and relationships grow, so does trust. In that secure haven, a team thrives, a family flourishes, a society succeeds.

Sensible people do not follow those they know are flawed and untrustworthy: relationships dissolve, trust disintegrates and community breaks down. Society is upheld only by popular adherence to a code of principles distinguishing right and wrong.

Moral character brings strength to relationships and society.

Character is limiting—or liberating.
Sooner or later, but inevitably, character outs. This is a universal truth, as evident in the ancient proverb—“out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”—as in the modern maxim: “garbage in, garbage out.”

The strength of a leader is tied to the strength of his or her character. Everything rises or falls on leadership; and leadership rises or falls on character.

Leaders cannot rise above the limitations of their character.

There’s really no doubt: your personal character directly impacts your public leadership.

What are you going to do about it?

Respect – it’s everywhere you want to be

Respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

It isn’t image. It’s not the money. And it isn’t power, prestige or even political capital: What drives both progress and profits inside every organization is a simple thing called respect.

Universally recognized and traded (“It’s everywhere you want to be!”), respect is the currency of people on the move, who know and work its profitable exchange rate in the commerce of getting things done.

Leaders in every industry deal primarily in social capital—networks of social connections, interpersonal relationships, and shared values and ethics, that enable and encourage mutually advantageous cooperation toward shared ambitions. And respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

Yet as exalted as this lucrative performer is, respect is a stock in trade that cannot be bought—only earned. Here are 12 guaranteed ways to stop yearning and start earning respect:

1. Give it. Treating others the way you want to be treated is not just an ancient adage, but remains a golden rule for living today. In the economy of respect, the more you give, the more you gain: confer courtesy, bestow honor, and dish out dignity—and you’ll earn many happy returns.

2. Practice self-respect. Despite your own faults and failures (everyone has a slew of them), know that you are worthy of high esteem and unbiased regard. Treat yourself accordingly. Unsubscribe from the steady stream of negative self-talk and invest instead in a constructively healthy lifestyle.

3. Be authentic. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Avoid duplicitous talk and vague vows. Wear no masks; build no facades. Be sincere in all your conversations and genuine in all your compliments. Be the real you all the time.

4. Stay open to criticism. Since no one’s perfect—including you—remain humble and teachable to advance through your mistakes and setbacks. If you can take it on the chin without running off at the mouth, both your restraint and resolve will be duly noted and respected by others.

5. Be discreet. Gossiping and talking behind someone’s back reflects worse on you than your victim. Respecting other’s confidences builds your own trustworthy character.

6. Be professional. Know your job and be good at it. Producing outcomes without excuses and results beyond expectations shows both accountability and dependability. Grow in competence to build a stellar reputation and harvest honor.

7. Know what and why you believe, and act on it. Living and leading by a moral code shows you are committed to integrity, purpose, and responsibility. Believe in your own ideals and ideas and be able to intelligently support them in the marketplace.

8. Keep your word. Honor the integrity of your own commitments. Promptly returning phone calls and emails, consistently meeting deadlines, and intentionally delivering on all your promises not only stands out against the mediocre crowd, but also builds trust, loyalty, gratitude and esteem from your peers.

9. Champion others. No matter what the relationship, seek to add value to other people by actively supporting the right to their views and their contributions to the cause. Stand up for others, especially those who can’t for themselves.

10. Listen emphatically. Nothing speaks louder in terms of valuing other people than genuinely listening to them. Seek not to merely appear to hear, but comprehend and understand. Exuding genuine empathy is powerfully endearing, and helps you make a difference in a person’s life.

11. Be generous. People admire those who give their time, talent and resources to help them reach their goals. Be lavish with praise, bighearted in attitude, charitable with assistance and liberal in sharing.

12. Stay relentlessly positive. Maintaining a perpetually positive outlook nurtures the best results in overcoming challenges, developing relationships, evolving solutions, fulfilling potential, generating respect, and attracting reputable associates.