Tag: empathy

Dreamy transmissions of a coded mind

an inadvertent insight to empathy

Normally my dreams are bizarre, nonsensical mashups of illogical plotlines, coupled with acutely detailed observations. My latest, however, may give some actual insight to better understanding people with autism; or at least, some empathy.

Many autistic people are highly sensitive to all kinds of sensory input, and often cannot prioritize among them, or be able to respond or communicate in ways non-autistic people comprehend or deem appropriate. Many are also intellectually gifted, but ill-equipped to interact with an alternately-oriented world.

My dream visually depicted their outward communication as a load of transparent cylinders crammed with parcels of concepts. Each package was a discrete, labeled thought, wrapped in a different color of cellophane.

I have no image of that dream scene to share, so I will try to describe it as well as I can.

There were several of these cylinders of various sizes and diameters in my view. I understood that the concepts inside had first been compressed into separate thought packages, and then further compacted together to fill each capped and sealed cylinder. They were varying sizes and shapes, like paper-wrapped cuts of meat; and like various sizes of gravel, they filled all the spaces within the cylinder. I was able to read two of them. One larger, pork chop-shaped gray package contained the observation that the individual hairs on the back of a person’s head had gray tips, much like the silver guard hairs on a wolf’s fur. A small red round one counted the ticks of a wristwatch on someone else’s arm in the room. These bundles were stuffed inside the cylinders with all the other encrypted thoughts and impressions, without any order, category, or priority.

The cylinders, then, were the delivery mechanism of self-articulated thoughts and stimuli responses to an outside world. They included no instructions for unpacking, decoding or deciphering the contents.

I have no way of knowing if this visual depiction in any way represents the actualities of an autistic mind and response system. Like many of my dreams, it could be the result of random firings of neurons in my own brain representing sheer nonsense. But it does give me empathy for those who are neurodivergent, and their challenges to communicating with those of us who aren’t.

Respect – it’s everywhere you want to be

Respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

It isn’t image. It’s not the money. And it isn’t power, prestige or even political capital: What drives both progress and profits inside every organization is a simple thing called respect.

Universally recognized and traded (“It’s everywhere you want to be!”), respect is the currency of people on the move, who know and work its profitable exchange rate in the commerce of getting things done.

Leaders in every industry deal primarily in social capital—networks of social connections, interpersonal relationships, and shared values and ethics, that enable and encourage mutually advantageous cooperation toward shared ambitions. And respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

Yet as exalted as this lucrative performer is, respect is a stock in trade that cannot be bought—only earned. Here are 12 guaranteed ways to stop yearning and start earning respect:

1. Give it. Treating others the way you want to be treated is not just an ancient adage, but remains a golden rule for living today. In the economy of respect, the more you give, the more you gain: confer courtesy, bestow honor, and dish out dignity—and you’ll earn many happy returns.

2. Practice self-respect. Despite your own faults and failures (everyone has a slew of them), know that you are worthy of high esteem and unbiased regard. Treat yourself accordingly. Unsubscribe from the steady stream of negative self-talk and invest instead in a constructively healthy lifestyle.

3. Be authentic. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Avoid duplicitous talk and vague vows. Wear no masks; build no facades. Be sincere in all your conversations and genuine in all your compliments. Be the real you all the time.

4. Stay open to criticism. Since no one’s perfect—including you—remain humble and teachable to advance through your mistakes and setbacks. If you can take it on the chin without running off at the mouth, both your restraint and resolve will be duly noted and respected by others.

5. Be discreet. Gossiping and talking behind someone’s back reflects worse on you than your victim. Respecting other’s confidences builds your own trustworthy character.

6. Be professional. Know your job and be good at it. Producing outcomes without excuses and results beyond expectations shows both accountability and dependability. Grow in competence to build a stellar reputation and harvest honor.

7. Know what and why you believe, and act on it. Living and leading by a moral code shows you are committed to integrity, purpose, and responsibility. Believe in your own ideals and ideas and be able to intelligently support them in the marketplace.

8. Keep your word. Honor the integrity of your own commitments. Promptly returning phone calls and emails, consistently meeting deadlines, and intentionally delivering on all your promises not only stands out against the mediocre crowd, but also builds trust, loyalty, gratitude and esteem from your peers.

9. Champion others. No matter what the relationship, seek to add value to other people by actively supporting the right to their views and their contributions to the cause. Stand up for others, especially those who can’t for themselves.

10. Listen emphatically. Nothing speaks louder in terms of valuing other people than genuinely listening to them. Seek not to merely appear to hear, but comprehend and understand. Exuding genuine empathy is powerfully endearing, and helps you make a difference in a person’s life.

11. Be generous. People admire those who give their time, talent and resources to help them reach their goals. Be lavish with praise, bighearted in attitude, charitable with assistance and liberal in sharing.

12. Stay relentlessly positive. Maintaining a perpetually positive outlook nurtures the best results in overcoming challenges, developing relationships, evolving solutions, fulfilling potential, generating respect, and attracting reputable associates.