Self Development – Page 4

Some observations from the top of the far side of the hill

I’ve discovered peace is not the absence of conflict, but a condition of my spirit.

atop Steptoe Butte, Idaho, a thousand feet above the rolling hills of the Palouse area

It’s been a quick trip to the view from here.
The climb’s not been easy, nor predictable.
But here I stand amazed, a “senior.”

I’ve traded time for experience, and mistakes for learning.
I’ve gained strength, but lost endurance.
I’ve won wisdom, but lost patience.
I’ve raised hope in discouragement, and grown grit from defeat.

I’ve found that storms may cross my paths,
But don’t determine them.

I’ve seen tolerance harden to intolerance,
And pride swell to arrogance.
I’ve seen hate multiply and evil strut.
But I’ve watched kindness repulse anger,
Character rise undaunted,
And virtue stand uncowed.

I’ve lost money, but invested in family.
I’ve cried in sorrow and grieved in pain, yet laughed again.
I’ve been mistreated, ordeal-sharpened, and test-refined.
I’ve played and fought, joked and argued, lost and won.
I’ve screamed, offended; and apologized, repentant.

I’ve added girth, assembled wrinkles,
And grew perspective.
I’ve failed repeatedly,
But fewer than my tries.
I’ve wrestled with my tongue and temper,
And learned to carry more tunes than grudges.

I’ve discovered peace is not the absence of conflict,
But a condition of my spirit.

I’ve known sicknesses, but not all.
I’ve enjoyed health, but not always.
I’ve prospered in relationships, but also in regrets.
I’ve seen a lot, been through a lot, and loved a lot.

This privileged, age-afforded vista,
From this spot on not-quite-over-the-hill,
Reveals a journey far from perfect,
Yet a scuffle worth a life invested.
It satisfies my seasoned eyes, my slowing body,
An agile mind, and a grateful heart.

Saying pieces

Agonizing childhood Christmas tradition develops character

When I was a little kid, it was a time-honored tradition in my church that all the children of the Sunday School classes would “Say Pieces” at Christmastime and Easter.

Such were the agonizing times of Kid-dom. Whether it was memorizing and reciting a scripture verse or short poem, or playing an instrument, singing a song, or even performing a bit of drama, it was a stressful time on Center Stage.

Not that it was a big one. But that didn’t matter. It was all the mandatory preparation and the grown-ups’ stern warnings about getting it right in front of everybody. It was a big deal.

… Not that I can remember any piece of any of the Pieces I ever recited…

But many of them were quite similar to the now well-known declaration of Buddy the Elf: “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!” You know, when you’re a little impressionable kid, that’s really a huge pile of words to get just right.

I do, however, remember how we got to dress in plaid bathrobes to play Shepherds Abiding in the Fields. And how, one Eastertime, my cousin wore his green plastic army helmet to play a Roman soldier.

The annual production spared no one. Even the really little kids, the ones who were too little to even know what was going on, were sent out there. This cherished image is of my little sister Ann and her friend Jimmy, who paraded holding hands all the way from the staging area behind the upright piano to the platform, faced the audience with the signs hung around their little cherubic necks, then returned to wild acclaim.

Our individual and collective behaviors solicited both pride and embarrassment in our parents. For our grandparents and all the other old people, the spectacle was highly entertaining.

Afterwards, back in the classroom, we’d be rewarded with a small box of mixed chocolates and an orange from our Teacher: Presents! Next up: the real deal with Santa at home—yeah!

Despite all the trauma however, the ordeal developed character—not that we cared. But it did force us into such real out-of-the-comfort-zone growth experiences as public speaking, addressing an audience of peers and authority figures, overcoming fears and nervousness, exercising brain power, learning new information and how “practice makes perfect.”

I also remember how one little girl learned the power of a bribe. (Or shall I say “incentivized reward.”) All through the rehearsals, she refused to go on stage. But then her mother discovered just the right enticement in the promise of a special lollipop. (Did she bring some for all of us?) When it came to it, the girl delivered forthrightly, then ran directly to claim her reward from Mom hiding behind the piano.

After all these years, I’ve come to value sharing My Piece. It’s proclaimed a little differently now, and disseminated on a blog in a way no one could have imagined so long ago. Yet the sharing of our thoughts, concepts, ideas and ideals in a public forum remains a noble and cherished cause of personal expression and communal liberty.

So I now choose to share with you one of my favorite Pieces this Christmastime. It was written by the Nobel Prize winner of Literature in 1928, Sigrid Undset:

And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans—and all that lives and moves upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused—and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.

And as Ann and Jimmy so endearingly express: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Messing around in a small town

the learning legacy of engaging peers in free-spirited, unsupervised outdoor play

Chapman Quarries is the smallest incorporated borough in Pennsylvania, with a population in the 2010 census of 199 people. It’s where my dad’s family was established, and where his dad, granddad, and nearly all his male relatives worked the slate quarries.

While I didn’t grow up in town, that’s where church was and where my cousins and grandparents lived and where I spent a good amount of time. And it was the only place apart from school recess where I was able to freely interact with a lot of other kids outdoors. Three childhood memories tell a connected story:

Ice skating on the dam. The nearby quarries both used and generated a lot of water, and before Hurricane Agnes’ flood broke it in 1972, the dam was an idyllic nook in the woods. All the kids would walk out the back of town down “the dam hill” to amuse ourselves on the frozen lake. (It was a good joke to tell the new preacher about “the dam hill!”) I wasn’t a very good skater and I remember my cousin Judy telling me that I spent more time lying on the ice than skating on it. The older kids would build a bonfire off to the side, and we’d spend the better part of the whole day freezing, thawing, and “just messing around,” as we called it, with never a grown-up in sight.

Skateboarding on Main Street. The town was founded on a great hill after slate deposits were discovered in the 1850s, which brought an influx of hard-working families from Cornwall, Wales and Devon to work the quarries. When the skateboard craze hit some hundred-plus years later, it drew all their young descendants to Main Street with short, metal-wheeled boards to mess around. (Metal wheels were the leftover technology from roller-skates, which took a special key to adjust on your feet. And—let me tell you—roller skating on uneven slate sidewalks just wasn’t even fun!) I remember my cousin Craig telling me I had to get a skateboard with clay wheels—they’d work a lot better and I wouldn’t be spending all that time lying on the concrete than riding atop it. Like sledding, we’d walk to the top of the hill and ride the boards straight down the center of town, pausing only when someone would yell “CAR!” The old folks in town wished we wouldn’t go so fast because they didn’t want to see us get hurt. But no one stopped us.

Swimming in Claude’s Pond. Deep, water-filled Fisher’s Quarry was the destination of choice for the older teen boys to go skinny-dipping and wash up when it was hot. (This had also been the common practice of all the previous generations.) But I had that opportunity only once, living out of town as I did. Instead, my pappy would occasionally drive me and my brother and sister and a couple of cousins to his friend’s farm pond where we’d go wading and swimming and messing around. The older teen boys would drive there themselves and bring a long wooden plank. They’d extend it over the deep end of the pond and secure it with one of their jalopy’s front wheels to create a perfect diving board. The bigger boys allowed me, as a non-swimmer, to take a few turns, and after some tentative jumps into the shallows, I ignored my own caution and jumped out as far as I could. I remember my cousin Robert hauling me out of the water, saying that I shouldn’t spend more time lying on the bottom than floating on the top.

I learned a lot from my cousins. And from going outside and getting involved.

Like mine, most Baby Boomers’ childhoods were characterized by the habitual frequency in which we engaged our peers in free-spirited, unsupervised, outdoor play. It was there that we learned leadership and cooperation in picking teams for a pick-up game, and creative problem-solving in building a treehouse over a creek. We exerted our bodies while managing risk, and stretched our imaginations while messing around. We discovered both ourselves and our places when we pushed our limitations and our possibilities. Our self-development sprung from self-reliance.

A copious body of research now proves what we then knew, but didn’t understand: that social interaction in connection to nature is essential for our physical and mental health and our intellectual and social development. May we extend that legacy to both encourage and enable it with our children—and theirs.

Gaining credibility through crisis

Something has gone drastically wrong and, like it or not, you’re involved. What now?

Say you’re the supervising engineer at Three Mile Island when the alarms indicate a nuclear meltdown in progress.
– Or the CEO of Johnson & Johnson when someone poisons your brand’s Tylenol capsules.
– Or the County Sheriff as massive wildfires advance in a constricting ring around your residents.
– Or the Malaysian Prime Minister when Russia shoots down your passenger airliner.
– Or the Captain of a cruise ship when it runs aground off the coast of Italy and capsizes.
– Or the Director of Recreation when a new and violent gang claims your skatepark as its turf.
– Or the Office Manager when an underling hasn’t properly filled out his TPS Report.

Granted, crises come in all sorts and sizes of potential career-sinkers, and managing them and their responses is never a pleasant task. For a leader in a crisis, it is baptism by fire. Not only is it critical to deal effectively with the immediate consequences, it is crucial to the wellbeing of the innocent, the guilty, the present and future. And as the above examples attest, the caliber of leadership during the crisis, good or bad, makes all the difference in the eventual outcome.

So while you may be spared an international incident or two, as a leader in your organization you will see your share of corporate crises and unmitigated mayhem. And although these successful tactics work at all times, (practice them in peacetime!) here are five never-fail strategies for growing your leadership credibility during a crisis, and enabling a better yet-to-come:

Remain composed instead of clamorous.
There’s enough crazy: adding to it only exacerbates the problem. When the sky is falling, people crave a leader who keeps his or her head when everyone else is losing theirs. In the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers, those who controlled their panic were able to lead countless others to safety before the buildings’ imminent collapse. Firefighters and other emergency personnel proved themselves the best in the midst of the worst by remaining calm in the calamity. Keep cool in a crisis to fill a crucial leadership need.

Offer clarity instead of confusion.
Many in a crisis become instantly consumed with demanding to know why. And while that may be crucial to prevent a repeat catastrophe, it usually doesn’t address the “what” of the immediate need. When Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, its victims needed to be rescued, sheltered, and provided for. Debating the contentious and confusing issues of levee management, evacuation policies and public administration failures needed to be reserved for the mop-up. Offer clear, coherent and direct solutions to alleviate the immediate needs.

Be considerate instead of caustic.
In a crisis, there’s usually plenty of blame to go around. And while some insist in loudly pointing fingers, it changes nothing. Belligerence is not becoming of a leader. But compassion is, and it seeks the best solutions for the most people. Immigrants streaming illegally into the southwestern U.S. create inestimable problems for individuals and governments on both sides of the border, but intolerance for others’ viewpoints and situations never produces a sustainable solution. Discern realities with compassion and direct resolutions with care.

Exude confidence with courage.
Courage comes from acting despite threat, uncertainty, fear or peril. Like a tonic, faith in an idea, a resolution, or a better future helps enable it, especially when that confidence becomes contagious and the vision is caught by your followers. In coordinating a massive international response to the recent Ebola outbreak in West Africa, the World Health Organization is combatting the viral plague in a setting of “extreme poverty, dysfunctional health systems, a severe shortage of doctors, and rampant fear.” Yet its dedicated health workers, armed with hope and courageously immersing themselves in the epidemic, are the ones who will ultimately make a difference in defeating the deadly disease. Seize tomorrow’s solutions with certainty to solve today’s distresses with confidence.

Bring competence with candor.
Education is an invaluable investment in developing crisis leadership when its lessons are judiciously and honestly applied. For when you later find yourself in the pits, you’ll discover your capacity is deeper still, and provides a way up and out. In the first major foreign crisis of the U.S. after the Cold War, Iraq invaded neighboring Kuwait, destabilizing the entire Mid East. Operation Desert Storm’s General Norman Schwarzkopf, characteristically forthright to his Commander-in-Chief, his troops and the world at large, led his well-trained forces to liberate Kuwait in just 100 hours. Shape your professional edge with training and hone it with integrity.

MasterPoint: Character in crisis creates credibility in command.

Respect – it’s everywhere you want to be

Respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

It isn’t image. It’s not the money. And it isn’t power, prestige or even political capital: What drives both progress and profits inside every organization is a simple thing called respect.

Universally recognized and traded (“It’s everywhere you want to be!”), respect is the currency of people on the move, who know and work its profitable exchange rate in the commerce of getting things done.

Leaders in every industry deal primarily in social capital—networks of social connections, interpersonal relationships, and shared values and ethics, that enable and encourage mutually advantageous cooperation toward shared ambitions. And respect is the blue chip stock of social capital. Investing it in pays large and growing dividends.

Yet as exalted as this lucrative performer is, respect is a stock in trade that cannot be bought—only earned. Here are 12 guaranteed ways to stop yearning and start earning respect:

1. Give it. Treating others the way you want to be treated is not just an ancient adage, but remains a golden rule for living today. In the economy of respect, the more you give, the more you gain: confer courtesy, bestow honor, and dish out dignity—and you’ll earn many happy returns.

2. Practice self-respect. Despite your own faults and failures (everyone has a slew of them), know that you are worthy of high esteem and unbiased regard. Treat yourself accordingly. Unsubscribe from the steady stream of negative self-talk and invest instead in a constructively healthy lifestyle.

3. Be authentic. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Avoid duplicitous talk and vague vows. Wear no masks; build no facades. Be sincere in all your conversations and genuine in all your compliments. Be the real you all the time.

4. Stay open to criticism. Since no one’s perfect—including you—remain humble and teachable to advance through your mistakes and setbacks. If you can take it on the chin without running off at the mouth, both your restraint and resolve will be duly noted and respected by others.

5. Be discreet. Gossiping and talking behind someone’s back reflects worse on you than your victim. Respecting other’s confidences builds your own trustworthy character.

6. Be professional. Know your job and be good at it. Producing outcomes without excuses and results beyond expectations shows both accountability and dependability. Grow in competence to build a stellar reputation and harvest honor.

7. Know what and why you believe, and act on it. Living and leading by a moral code shows you are committed to integrity, purpose, and responsibility. Believe in your own ideals and ideas and be able to intelligently support them in the marketplace.

8. Keep your word. Honor the integrity of your own commitments. Promptly returning phone calls and emails, consistently meeting deadlines, and intentionally delivering on all your promises not only stands out against the mediocre crowd, but also builds trust, loyalty, gratitude and esteem from your peers.

9. Champion others. No matter what the relationship, seek to add value to other people by actively supporting the right to their views and their contributions to the cause. Stand up for others, especially those who can’t for themselves.

10. Listen emphatically. Nothing speaks louder in terms of valuing other people than genuinely listening to them. Seek not to merely appear to hear, but comprehend and understand. Exuding genuine empathy is powerfully endearing, and helps you make a difference in a person’s life.

11. Be generous. People admire those who give their time, talent and resources to help them reach their goals. Be lavish with praise, bighearted in attitude, charitable with assistance and liberal in sharing.

12. Stay relentlessly positive. Maintaining a perpetually positive outlook nurtures the best results in overcoming challenges, developing relationships, evolving solutions, fulfilling potential, generating respect, and attracting reputable associates.

Sweet inspiration!

and exemplary lessons from an industry giant

Sweet! The Hershey Company is the largest producer of chocolate in North America and a global leader in chocolate and sugar confectionery. With revenues of more than $6.6 billion in 2012, Hershey offers much-loved products under more than 80 brand names, including such iconic brands as Hershey’s, Reese’s, Kit Kat, Twizzlers and Jolly Rancher.

But the industry giant started inauspiciously enough with a rural farm boy lacking a formal education who apprenticed to a Lancaster, Pennsylvania candy maker. Milton S. Hershey went on to become not only one of America’s wealthiest individuals, but also a successful entrepreneur whose products are known the world over, a visionary builder of the town that bears his name and a philanthropist whose open-hearted generosity continues to touch the lives of thousands.

I recently enjoyed reading a biography of this intriguing man (Hershey: Milton S. Hershey’s Extraordinary Life of Wealth, Empire, and Utopian Dreams, by Michael D’Antonio). Here are a couple of exemplary lessons from his life for our mutual inspiration:

Persistent Improver. As a young entrepreneur, Milton Hershey failed repeatedly as a candy maker in Lancaster, Philadelphia, Denver, Chicago and New York City. After 14 years, he returned home to Lancaster and started over once again, this time improving on a recipe for caramels he learned in Colorado. His successful Lancaster Caramel Company became an early model for production line methods that Henry Ford later perfected.

Risk-Taker and Self-Believer. After selling the caramel company to a competitor for $1 million in 1900, he invested all his energies in developing a new concoction then finding favor in Europe: milk chocolate. Without even knowing how to produce a marketable milk chocolate recipe or a process for a stable and consistent chocolate bar, he bought the necessary equipment and began construction on a new factory.

Fearless Experimenter. Even after he was very wealthy and successful, Milton remained a tinkerer, always on the lookout for new products and productivity. But he was never afraid to fail in his open-minded experiments—like his ill-fated attempts to boost vitamins in his chocolate by mixing in turnips, parsley, beets, and even celery! Nor did he complain of the costs associated with such experiments.

Foresighted Planner and Builder. As a social progressive who transformed his philosophies into realities, he constructed a company town for his workers that thrived devoid of problems associated with other utopian enterprises of the times. The picturesque settlement of 14,000 residents today takes pride in its uniquely attractive design, and the livability and lifestyle it affords. Dubbed “The Sweetest Place on Earth,” its other popular attractions include Hersheypark, Hersheypark Stadium, ZooAmerica, Hershey Gardens, as well as the Penn State Hershey Medical Center.

Visionary Provider. Unable with this wife Catherine to have children of their own, Milton founded a school for orphan boys in 1909, and later donated his entire fortune to a foundation to administer the school. Today, with assets of more than $10 billion (more than that of most universities!), the coeducational school provides a free world-class education, as well as meals, clothing, a nurturing home, health care, counseling and career training to nearly 2,000 children in social and financial need.

MasterPoint: Dream Big. Try Big. Live Big. Leave Big.

Agility in the land of Giants

In Bruce Wilkinson’s wonderfully empowering book The Dream Giver, he spins an allegory about a guy named Ordinary who leaves his comfort zone to pursue his dreams. The further he travels away from the familiar, the more unsettled he becomes, and the more he is oppressed by those opposed to his audacity to dream. He encounters Border Bullies, who try to prevent him from crossing into unfamiliar territory. His tenacity is tested in the Wasteland. And just when the fulfillment of his dream is in sight, he meets Giants, whose self-appointed purpose is to take him down and deny his dream.

If you’ve ever pursued a big dream, you know the tale is true. Some of the obstacles that prevent us from realizing our goals are gigantic. But as leaders, if we are to persist and win, we must find ways to effectively neutralize those Giants, one way or another:

Avoid the Giant. Some problems can simply be avoided, like detouring around a landslide. There may be many routes to your goal. One blocked path doesn’t mean you are deterred, merely detoured.

Redirect the Giant. Some Giants attack simply because they cannot allow any challenge to go unanswered. But if you can convince a Giant that you are not an enemy, and in fact, may share some common goals, you may be able to enlist that Giant’s considerable help by focusing its energies on another target. You may have talented and passionate Giants who have difficulty in comprehending the long-term goal, and unintentionally cause obstructions to your progress. But if that passion can be directed along a parallel path to a mutual aim, you’ve not only removed an obstacle, but have gained a committed ally.

Hinder the Giant. In an effective offensive strategy of a good football team, some members intentionally block the moves of the opposing team while others advance the ball toward the goal. Recognize that your best chance for reaching your goal is not a solo effort. Take time to develop collaborative partnerships and train your teammates in anticipation of necessary strategies.

What tactics can be employed, if necessary, to move beyond the obstacle, huge as it is? Are there any social, legal, economic, or other incentives (or disincentives) to employ? What resources can be added or removed from the state of affairs to mitigate the problem? How may the confounding issue be countered, refuted or reframed? With a well-trained and well-equipped team, your Giant may be controlled or curtailed enough for the dream to be attained.

Conquer the Giant. It is dangerous to approach a Giant. Because of its size, strength, and contrariness, confronting a Giant can be a fearfully intimidating experience. It has the capacity to seal your fate and steal your dream. Confronting the Giant may indeed be a life-and-death matter.

Fear is a natural reaction to facing the unfamiliar, the hazardous, or the unknowable. Yet, the only tonic for fear is courage: intentional action in spite of it. Knowing full well the risks, the dreamer takes a deep draught from the flask of Courage, calculates his steps, and proceeds.

Giants do not easily fall. But even the biggest and most fearsome are not invincible. Conquering them, while difficult, is possible. The dreamer/leader and his or her team must commit all available resources to knowing, acting on, and reacting to their own—and the Giant’s—strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. With persistence, proper knowledge and courageous deeds against the Giant, yield it may.

Like successful dreamers, the most effective leaders find ways to disable the difficulties on the way to achieving the mission. Who or what are your Giants?

MasterPoint: Disable your Giants to achieve your dream.

You can’t make me!

Mastering the art of positively influencing people is the only way to mutually elevate and empower lives, institutions and ideals.

(but I can be persuaded)

Leadership, by definition, prohibits the use of coercive power.

Think of a time in your adult life when someone forced you to do something despite your better judgment or convictions. How did that affect your relationship with that person or your inclination to act as that person subsequently directed?

Chances are, not positively.

True leadership—the kind that derives not from position or title, but through mastering the art of positively influencing people—is the only way to mutually elevate and empower lives, institutions and ideals.

The more proficient a leader becomes in the persuasive arts, the more likely the goals of the organization will be successfully met—and with less hindrance and resistance. (I am not speaking of manipulation here, which is the devious, dark side of controlling people: such is a coercive tool for dictatorial purposes.)

Abraham Lincoln, a lawyer by profession, recognized that this sometimes-illusive and counterintuitive practice does produce desirable results. Before he ever took on the mighty challenge of preserving the entire nation, he discouraged his clients to resort to litigation. Instead, he advised, “persuade your neighbors to compromise wherever you can.”

In Lincoln’s 19th Century eloquent prose, he expounded on this intentional tactic: “When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and a true maxim, that ‘a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.’ So with men. If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which … is the great high road to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing his judgment of the justice of your cause.”

“On the contrary,” Lincoln continued, “assume to dictate to his judgment, or to command his action, or to mark him as one to be shunned and despised, and he will retreat within himself… and you shall no more be able to [reach] him than to penetrate the hard shell of a tortoise with a rye straw.”

Such folksy wisdom of the ages is now being buttressed by scientific research that shows that developing a respectful personal rapport with people enables the persuasive power that in turn exerts influence to effect change and achieve worthy goals. Not only does it move people and things onward and upward, it expands borders and motivates teams. It constructs possibilities, cements trust, and assembles ownership. It empowers mind, body and spirit for a better world.

And while persuasive leadership remains artful in its interpretation, its practice is open to anyone (you!) who applies the principles of the social science to the situation at hand. Here are seven suggestions to increase your persuasive influence, no matter what position you hold or where you are in life:

1. Be exemplary. Encourage affinity by being genuinely positive, enthusiastic, and unselfish. Do more than the minimum to maintain your interpersonal relationships; exceed expectations.

2. Be trustworthy. Earn trust with your peers, associates, bosses and clients by remaining readily open, transparent, truthful and teachable.

3. Be involved. Engage in shared experiences to create positive learning and sharing environments that promote team building and strengthening individual commitments.

4. Be we-oriented, not me-oriented. Focus on mutual strengths and desired outcomes; avoid detailing others’ weaknesses and shortcomings.

5. Be consistent and persistent. Consistently validate the relationship with enduring personal investments and practical, value-added contributions.

6. Be certain. Know your audience and your stuff. Be convinced of your data, your rationale, and your vision.

7. Be articulate. Develop and practice eloquence: say it clearly and show it creatively. Fluently and effectively express your ideals.

MasterPoint: Persuasiveness is power.

Thinking and doing and being

Olympic champions, bodybuilders and dieters, sales representatives, and all your basic goal-setters keep before them a clear picture of the desired end results even as they work toward them from afar off.

You see, our brains are gullible: they believe what they are consistently told.

The teen berated as a screw-up continues as one; the girl ostracized for being different becomes a loner; the man who confesses he has no willpower succumbs to temptation. On the other hand, the child praised for being thoughtful continues to be; a student who believes she can overcome dyslexia does; a disadvantaged young adult rises to the challenge of being a single parent. All of us act according to what we believe we are capable of doing, to the degree we believe it.

Sometimes the “facts” are irrelevant. You wish to be a professional musician, but you’re simply not proficient enough. That may be true. But it doesn’t mean it always will be. A professional musician practices many hours every day to hone and maintain his or her skills; so does the aspiring professional musician. We must take on the habits and behaviors of the professional before we actually become the professional.

Professional motivators and creative thinkers speak about thinking “outside the box” or acting beyond our comfort zones to effect innovation and change. The truth is, ruts are comfortable. We spend a long time carving them out to our exact dimensional habits and then resting in them: aahhh! But to seek improvements in our lifestyle or to dream an impossible dream forces a change in our thinking, which in turn affects our doing, and eventually, our being.

When I was in junior high school I enjoyed a couple of semesters of Mechanical Drawing, where we sat at large drafting tables and used the T-square and triangles and scale ruler and dividers and compasses to draw 3-D objects on a piece of paper taped to the table. Mr. Dotter insisted that he did not mind us making mistakes, declaring often that “He who makes no mistakes, does nothing.” But he did warn us about making grooves in our work. We all had a tendency to push hard on our pencils, firmly and irrevocably etching our decisions forever. Sure, we could erase the line if it was wrong, but we couldn’t erase the groove in the paper the line created, so our mistake remained even though we had repented of the error.

We may not always be sure of our exact pathway to progress, but we can tread lightly as we train and develop to avoid unnecessary and unsightly “grooves” in our professional lives that may mar ourselves, our relationships, and our future. To do anything at all guarantees that we will, from time to time, make mistakes and fail. That is certain. So the issue is not when or what we fail, but how we fail and recover, while consistently reconfirming to our own minds the purposeful image of our destination.

It is the willingness to do what it takes; to purposefully banish negative, destructive, and counter-productive thought patterns, and substitute them with uplifting, edifying, and encouraging ones to motivate a change in our behavior. It is to accept in faith that which we cannot see as though it is. And to act upon that belief to fulfill our own greatest potential.

MasterPoint: Think to believe; believe to act; act to become.

Category: Self Development

Some observations from the top of the far side of the hill

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Saying pieces

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Messing around in a small town

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Gaining credibility through crisis

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Respect – it’s everywhere you want to be

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Sweet inspiration!

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Agility in the land of Giants

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You can’t make me!

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Thinking and doing and being

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