Category: Social Equity

Jerks at Work

Be a positive role model, not a model jerk

I’ve been a fan of Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons since their start. And this particular one tells me that not only does God love diversity, he’s also got a sense of humor!

Unfortunately, humoring a jerk doesn’t prevent the problems they create. And when you work with a jerk, it’s not just irksome—it can be a major career-disrupter!

Of course, the first, best way to deal with jerks is to be certain you’re not one of them! Many people learn to become jerks at work by mimicking their managers and their coworkers. So the fewer who act like jerks, the less their contagion will spread.

But of course, there are always plenty of jerks to go ‘round. No matter what their role or relationship, you need to know how to manage them for your own (and possibly mutual) benefit. Once you make sure that you have a clear understanding of their questionable behaviors, you can then tailor your response to fit the particular person and situation. Some cases call for swift, direct and assertive action, while others call for more subtlety, patience, and persuasion.

The book Jerks at Work: How to Deal with People Problems and Problem People by Ken Lloyd, is a wonderful resource offering hundreds of real-life workplace questions with practical considerations, suggestions and insights to employ in all sorts of jerk defense and management. Because the author says it all so well, I quote from his introduction and summary:

“Jerks can be present in every aspect of work life, from the first contact in the employment process to the last day on the job, and all points in between. For example, jerks can clearly highlight their presence when conducting job interviews, and in the way they treat new employees. At the same time, there are applicants and new employees who feel compelled to demonstrate that they, too, can act like jerks. With every assignment, task, chore, meeting, project, deadline, objective, and interaction, jerks are always seeking that special opportunity to let everyone know who and what they are.

“In leadership positions, jerks can truly come in into their glory. They can be invisible, omnipresent, inequitable, intransigent, nasty, unfair, unethical—the list goes on and on. And interestingly, jerks as subordinates can be just as outrageous, as can jerks as co-workers.

“One properly placed jerk at virtually any level of an organization can be linked to a vast array of problems that include leadership ineptitude, widespread unfairness, abysmal teamwork, resistance to change, twisted feedback, conflict escalation, pointless meetings, communication breakdowns, employee stagnation, muddled decision-making, inequitable rewards, staff rebelliousness, and a very uncomfortable environment. And as the number of jerks increases, so increases the number of problems.

“Although there are no automatic or canned solutions for the problems jerks create, there are some strategies that can help, provided that every problem is analyzed individually, and specific steps are developed to handle each. With a solid strategy in mind, many actions taken by jerks can be stopped and prevented, or at the very least, avoided.

“There are some key pointers that anyone at any job level should keep in mind in order to be a positive role model, rather than a model jerk:

  • Treat people with respect and trust.
  • Listen to what others have to say.
  • Be fair and honest.
  • Set positive expectations.
  • Recognize the value of diversity.
  • Keep the lines of communication open.
  • Be a team player.
  • Keep furthering your education.
  • Establish realistic plans and goals.
  • Look for solutions, not just problems.
  • Try to understand others as individuals.
  • Give thanks and recognition when due.
  • Keep quality and service in clear focus.
  • Encourage innovative and creative thinking.
  • And most importantly, remember that only a jerk ignores the Golden Rule.”

Invest in yourself and your future. Jerks at Work can arm you with the knowledge and sensitivity to combat jerk behavior in your employers, coworkers, employees—and most importantly, in yourself.

What is—and isn’t—critical thinking

and how we can use it to improve ourselves and those around us

Whenever I’ve talked about the need for critical thinking, I’ve noticed that those who need it most are usually the ones who agree most—but for other people!

Maybe this stems from our volatile society, but our collective exasperation (outrage?) at others’ points of view is certainly exacerbated by a lack of critical thinking by all parties.

I don’t consider myself a master critical thinker, but at least I can see how most political ads break every rule of sound and fair reasoning. (Of course, their purpose is to vilify opponents with innuendo, appeals to irrational fears, outright lies, distortions and half-truths; and a creative lack of depth, breadth, clarity or fairness. For that, they do a pretty consistent job—however unprincipled!)

But let’s start with clarity.

What critical thinking is not: using a judgmental spirit to find fault, assign blame, cancel, or censure.

What critical thinking is: using a disciplined thought process to discern what is clear, rational, open-minded, and informed by evidence.

After all, we are what we think. Our attitudes, feelings, words, and actions are all determined by the quality of our thinking. Unrealistic thinking leads to disappointment; pessimistic thinking spurns joy; practical thinking builds productivity; grateful thinking grows appreciation; and affirmative thinking leads to possibilities and opportunities.

Our brains do a pretty good job in identifying patterns and fixed procedures that require minimal consideration. It allows us to function efficiently in familiar zones and predictable routines. And hardwired in all of us is a prioritized egocentric core to protect our personal interests. But increasingly, our progressively diverse world and its unrelenting pace of change requires analytical thinking that is more vigorous, more complex, more adaptable, and more sensitive to divergent views—if we are not to degenerate into the dystopian futures of our movies!

That kind of elevated thinking is reasoning, which draws conclusions about what we know, or can discover, about anything. To reason well, we must intentionally process the information we receive. What are we trying to understand? What is its purpose? How can we check its accuracy? Do we have a limited, shaded, or jaded point of view? What is fact, what is evidence, and what is interpretation? What is the question or problem we are trying to solve? What assumptions are in our inherent biases, and how can we move away from them? What are the ultimate implications or consequences?

Our reasoning, therefore, needs standards with which to measure, compare and contrast all the bits of information in order to come to a meaningful and fair conclusion. Such intellectual standards include clarity, precision, accuracy, significance, relevance, logicalness, fairness, breadth and depth.

In the absence of these reasoning standards, we default to our self-centeredness, which inevitably leads to gnashing of teeth, biased irrationality, and social regrets. But when we vigorously apply these standards, we develop a capacity for fairmindedness, rational action, and healthy societies. This intellectual clash for the mastery of our own minds frames two incompatible ends:

Virtues for fair-minded rationality      Vices inhibiting fair-minded rationality
intellectual humility                                        intellectual arrogance
intellectual autonomy                                    intellectual conformity
intellectual empathy                                      intellectual self-centeredness
intellectual civility                                            intellectual rudeness
intellectual curiosity                                        intellectual apathy
intellectual discipline                                      intellectual laziness
intellectual integrity                                        intellectual hypocrisy

Here is a starter set of questions for better thinking and reasoning, drawn from the critically acclaimed book Critical Thinking, by Richard Paul and Linda Elder:

  • Clarity: Could you elaborate or give an example?
  • Precision: Could you be more specific?
  • Accuracy: How can we verify or test that?
  • Significance: Which of these facts are most important?
  • Relevance: How does that relate to, or help with the issue?
  • Fairness: Are my assumptions supported by evidence? Is my thinking justifiable in context?
  • Logicalness: Does what you say follow from the evidence?
  • Depth: What are some of the complexities of this issue?

Informed reasoning leads to better self-management, better understanding and relationships between people and groups—and ultimately, a better, more cooperative society. And let it begin with me.

2022 Reading Roundup

I have a standing personal rule: Always Bring a Book!

Whenever I break it, I’m inevitably sorry.

Books are important to me: in them I find distilled wisdom, practical instruction, and engrossing entertainment. They customize my intellectual, psychological, and spiritual development; they build my technical and relational capabilities; they expand my leadership and service; they refresh my mind and spirit.

In 2022, my wife, son and I wrote a book about the challenges, lessons and adventures in raising our youngest son with Asperger’s Syndrome, which will be published this coming year.

I try to read widely. Not all my choices pertain directly to my job, or my personal interests. Invisible Women opened my eyes and mind to systemic male-based data bias. Even fiction, when it represents a divergent point of view, can add to my useful stores of knowledge. Case in point for this year: The Personal Librarian, based on the true story of a black woman passing as a white woman in the employ of J.P. Morgan in the early 1900s.

The complete list follows, but here are my personal citations for those I’ve found most captivating, memorable, or practical in the following categories:

Work-related: CEO Excellence; Critical Thinking; Extreme Ownership
Biography: Frederick Douglass; An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth
History: The First Conspiracy: The Plot to Kill George Washington
Iconic/Classic: Travels with Charley in Search of America
Fiction: Where the Crawdads Sing; West With Giraffes; The Personal Librarian
Science: Humble Pi; Brilliant Maps for Curious Minds
Societal: Invisible Women; Untrustworthy
Thriller: Boar Island
Humor: The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach
Spiritual: The Hole in Our Gospel
by personal friends: Super Powers and Secrets; Crushed and Marred; Stand; People Connectors

  1. Creativity, Inc: Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration, Ed Catmull
  2. Humble Pi: When Math Goes Wrong in the Real World, Matt Parker
  3. Super Powers and Secrets: A Year of Holidays, H. Kaeppel
  4. Crushed and Marred: A Year of Milestones, H. Kaepple
  5. Stand: A Year of Firsts, H. Kaeppel
  6. The Itty Bitty Book of Nonprofit Fundraising, Jayme Dingler
  7. The Insanity of God: A True Story of Faith Resurrected, Nik Ripken
  8. Golden Girl, Elin Hilderbrand
  9. Flashback, Nevada Barr
  10. Trees & Forests of America, Tim Palmer
  11. Frederick Douglass: Prophet of Freedom, David W. Blight
  12. Sold on a Monday, Kristina McMorris
  13. The Hole in Our Gospel, Richard Stearns
  14. Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! Adventures of a Curious Character, Richard P. Feynman
  15. The Gift of Asperger’s: One Family’s Persevering Adventure of Hope, Humor, Insight and Inspiration, Tim Herd, Carol Herd, and Philip Herd
  16. A Time for Mercy, John Grisham
  17. Historic Acadia National Park: The Stories Behind One of America’s Great Treasures, Catherine Schmidt
  18. Brilliant Maps for Curious Minds: 100 New Ways to See the World, Ian Wright
  19. Girl Behind the Red Rope, Ted Dekker and Rachelle Dekker
  20. Tesla: Inventor of the Electrical Age, W. Bernard Carlson
  21. The Escape Artist, Brad Melzner
  22. People Connectors: Elevating Communication for Educators, Terry Sumerlin
  23. The First Conspiracy: The Secret Plot to Kill George Washington, Brad Meltzner and Josh Mensch
  24. We Seven, by the Astronauts Themselves, Carpenter, Cooper, Glenn, Grissom, Schirra, Shepard, Slayton
  25. What Happened to the Bennetts, Lisa Scottoline
  26. The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach, Professor Peter Schickele
  27. Wait, What? And Life’s Other Essential Questions, James Ryan
  28. High Country, Nevada Barr
  29. Hard Truth, Nevada Barr
  30. Eight Days in May: The Final Collapse of the Third Reich, Volker Ullrich
  31. Endangered Species, Nevada Barr
  32. An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth: What Going to Space Taught Me About Ingenuity, Determination, and Being Prepared for Everything, Col. Chris Hadfield
  33. Blind Descent, Nevada Barr
  34. Immanuel’s Veins, Ted Dekker
  35. Thinking Like Your Editor: How to Write Great Serious Nonfiction – and Get it Published, Susan Rabiner and Alfred Fortunato
  36. Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, Caroline Criado Perez
  37. The Lost Key, Catherine Coulter and J.T. Ellison
  38. Burn, Ted Dekker and Erin Healy
  39. The Whole Town’s Talking, Fannie Flagg
  40. Acadia National Park, Bob Thayer
  41. Where the Crawdads Sing, Delia Owens
  42. CEO Excellence: The Six Mindsets That Distinguish the Best Leaders From the Rest, Carolyn Dewar, Scott Keller, and Vikram Malhotra
  43. Burn, Nevada Barr
  44. The Murder of King Tut, James Patterson and Martin Dugard
  45. Thinking in Pictures: My Life With Autism, Temple Grandin
  46. Calling All Minds: How to Think and Create Like and Inventor, Temple Grandin
  47. The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, John Ortberg
  48. Boar Island, Nevada Barr
  49. Critical Thinking: Tools for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life, Richard Paul and Linda Elder
  50. The Rope, Nevada Barr
  51. A Man Called Ova, Fredrik Backman
  52. The Personal Librarian, Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray
  53. Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALS Lead and Win, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
  54. Untrustworthy: The Knowledge Crisis Breaking Our Brains, Polluting Our Politics, and Corrupting Christian Community, Bonnie Kristian
  55. Send: Living a Life That Invites Others to Jesus, Heather Holleman and Ashley Holleman
  56. West With Giraffes, Lynda Rutledge
  57. Dr. Rick Will See You Now: A Guide to Unbecoming Your Parents, Dr. Rick
  58. Travels With Charley in Search of America, John Steinbeck
  59. The Business of Heaven, C.S. Lewis
  60. My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers

Strength in diversity of thinking

inclusion insights from the neurodivergent

Carol and I were very fortunate to meet Temple Grandin last week when she spoke at the National Recreation and Park Association’s Conference in Phoenix.

Dr. Grandin is a gifted animal scientist who has designed one-third of all the livestock-handling facilities in the United States. In 2010, Time Magazine named her one of the 100 most influential people.

She is also autistic and a strong advocate for those who think differently from most of the rest of the world. We have learned from her since our son was first diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as he entered junior high school.

Temple spoke of her personal experiences navigating life experiences, and about the strength that diversity of perspectives and abilities brings to park planning—as well as all of life.

Her collaboration with the playground design firm Play & Park Structures is one of the first to address the needs of neurodivergent individuals and those with different minds who have different play needs and styles.

Invisible Women

When planners and developers fail to account for gender, public spaces become male spaces by default.

My daughter strongly recommended I read the bestselling book Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, by Caroline Criado Perez. She helpfully loaned me her electronic copy, and I learned so much from it I bought my own copy. And in turn, I recommend it to you.

Invisible Women, by Caroline Criado Perez

In its pages, the author argues that the gender gap is both a cause and a consequence of the type of unthinking that conceives of humanity as almost exclusively male. It was surprising to me (being exclusively male since birth), how widely and how often this bias crops up, and how it distorts the supposedly objective data that increasingly governs our lives.

She covers a lot of territory. The book’s six parts cover Daily Life, The Workplace, Design, Going to the Doctor, Public Life, and When it Goes Wrong; and includes such intriguing chapters as Can Snow-Clearing be Sexist, Gender Neutral With Urinals, and One-Size-Fits Men.

Of particular interest to park and recreation professionals is a section addressing city and park planning and use. She cites a 2016 article in The Guardian that asked why we aren’t designing places “that work for women, not just men” and cautions that the limited datasets that track and trend data on gender make it hard to develop programs and infrastructure that factor in and meet women’s needs.

For example, planners in Vienna found that the presence of girls in parks and public playgrounds decreased after the age of 10. They subsequently found, through collecting pertinent data, that single large open spaces were the problem, because they forced girls to compete with boys for space—who largely chose not to. But when the developers subdivided the parks into smaller areas, the female dropoff was reversed.

They also addressed the park’s sport facilities. “Originally these spaces were encased in wire fencing on all sides, with only a single entrance area—around which groups of boys would congregate. And the girls, unwilling to run the gauntlet, simply weren’t going in.” The simple solution? More and wider entrances. They also subdivided the open areas and sport courts. Formal sports like basketball were kept intact, but they also provided space for more informal activities, in which girls were more likely to engage.

In another example, Malmos, Sweden, discovered a similar male bias in the way they’d traditionally been planning urban recreation for youth. “The usual procedure was to create spaces for skating, climbing and painting graffiti. The trouble was, it wasn’t ‘youth’ as a whole that was participating… It was almost exclusively boys, with girls making up only 10-20 percent of those who used the city’s youth-directed leisure spaces and facilities.” So they began asking what the girls wanted—and the resultant new areas are well-lit and split into a range of different-sized spaces on different levels.

Such a gender-equitable approach doesn’t just benefit females alone, but extends to the economy. When sports funding goes mainly to organized sports, which is dominated by boys, that which was meant to benefit everyone equally, simply doesn’t. Sometimes girls’ sports aren’t provided for at all, which means girls must pay for them privately, or not participate at all. Such detrimental consequences then ripple into the present and future health of half the population, and the overall economy. One study concluded that a certain increase in the city’s support for girls’ sports could “lead to a 14 percent reduction in future fractures due to osteoporosis, and the investment will have paid for itself.”

Perez concludes that when planners, developers and programmers “fail to account for gender, public spaces become male spaces by default.” This is not a niche concern: “if public spaces are truly to be for everyone, we have to start accounting for the lives of the other half of the world.” It’s not just a matter of justice: it’s also a matter of personal health, welcoming placemaking, social equity, and simple economics. And it starts with collecting meaningful gender-sensitive data.